Young Blood
by zoezeekay
Summary: One-shot inspired by the Naked & Famous song, Young Blood. What happens to Emily & Naomi after Goa? It's a bit angsty, but I promise the end will make everything alright.


Falling in love is easy. What comes after – the reality of a relationship, is hard. And sometimes Naomi wonders if it's all worth it.

They graduate. Things between Naomi and Emily have reached breaking point. Naomi had kind of guessed that Mandy wasn't just a friend. But it wasn't until Mandy confirmed the fact, that Naomi finally had to do something. So, for the first time ever, she put her heart on the line and told the raw, honest truth.

Goa was a happy blur. Naomi took photos. And not 38,000 digital photos that she would probably never look at until she was 78, reminiscing her glory days. No, she took photos with a proper camera and film, that she would develop herself back in Bristol. Emily wrote a journal detailing their adventure. And what an adventure it was. They saw wonderful sights, heard amazing stories. They ate in back alley restaurants and drank in dingy bars. Some nights they slept on the beach with the stars as their blanket. It was a truly wonderful time.

They moved to London. They find a flat approximately half way between Goldsmiths and UCL. It has three bedrooms and within a week a university, they have each found a flatmate to fill the other bedrooms and share rent. Moving to London _with_ Naomi was the final straw for Jenna, who cuts off Emily completely. Emily pretends not to care, but Naomi knows first hand just how much it hurts when a parent chooses not to know you.

The first semester of university is a whirlwind. They each make new friends, get jobs and join student groups. If Naomi is home, then Emily is out, and vice versa. They only see each other in passing.

Emily goes back to Bristol for Christmas to see Katie, Rob and even James. Naomi stays in London. Gina and Keiran have gone to Ireland, and she has her major politics assignment due in straight after break. It's the longest they have ever spent apart. Naomi cries herself to sleep every night until Emily returns. She can't shake the feeling that something isn't right. This, living together in London, isn't how she imagined it. Naomi spends more time with Lana, the flatmate she recruited from Goldsmiths. And similarly, Emily spends more time with Marc, their other flatmate, and her friend from UCL.

Naomi makes an effort after Christmas break. She doesn't spend quite as many hours at the library. She still goes to uni events, but leaves earlier so she can go home to Emily. Only Emily is rarely there. And even when she is, she might as well not be. There's always an excuse. She's tired, she's got a big assignment to finish, has to get up early for work… They're drifting apart.

This continues on for the rest of the year. Naomi makes an effort and Emily pushes her away. They haven't had sex since Emily first got back from Christmas break. Yes, Naomi is horny and frustrated. But mostly she is upset that Emily seems disinterested in her, in their relationship. She doesn't know what to do. Naomi didn't think could be worse than their final year of college. But at least then Emily was yelling, crying, drinking, sighing and glaring her feelings at Naomi. She was constantly told (often not verbally) how Emily felt about her mistake with Sophia. Now Emily is indifferent and it's got Naomi more worried than she ever was during their final year of college.

Naomi gets a call from Katie in February. Effy has been given the all clear for release. They are getting a flat together so Katie can keep an eye on Effy. The news makes Naomi smile for the first time in weeks. And it's like Katie knows all is not right. She asks Naomi if she's okay. Naomi says something non-committal and asks Katie to tell Effy she said hi. At this stage Naomi hasn't verbalised her and Emily's trouble to anyone. Not her Mum, not Katie, not Effy. No one. Because if she says the words, then it'll all be true and she'll have the face the reality that Emily might not love her anymore.

Summer comes, and it's suddenly like Emily remembers that Naomi exists. They reconnect on the first weekend of summer break, only leaving their room for food and bathroom breaks. Naomi is happy and sad all at once. She can't help but remember the past six months, and how utterly disappointing they were. She should bring it up with Emily. She knows she should. But she's too scared to shake the balance of their fragile relationship.

At the end of summer they go to Bristol for two weeks. Halfway through their visit, they have their first fight in months. Emily accuses Naomi of being too much in her head, and not talking. Naomi erupts, letting out six months of anger. It's not pretty. They're due for dinner with Katie and Effy. Dinner is a disaster. Emily yells, at Naomi, at Katie, even at Effy and storms out.

Katie and Naomi sit out on the balcony for a fag after the ill-fated dinner.

"You're not okay," Katie says with conviction. There's no upward inflection at the end. It's not a question.

"No."

"Emily's changed."

"Mmm," she replies non-committally and drags deeply on her cigarette.

"Do you still love her?"

Naomi doesn't need to think. Responds without missing a beat, "Yes."

"Are you going to break up?"

Naomi sighs deeply, "Honestly, I don't know."

"Shit."

"That about sums it up Katie. Total fucking shit."

Naomi walks home, and finds Emily in their room at Gina's packing.

She sighs, "What are you doing?"

"Packing."

Naomi resists the urge to roll her eyes, "Where are you going?"

"Back to London."

"Tonight?"

"I still have time to catch the last train."

"No."

Emily stops packing and turns around to face her, "You're not the boss of me Naomi."

"No I'm not but I do care about you. Please don't catch the train home tonight. You want to go back to London? Fine. But at least wait till tomorrow morning to leave. It's too late to be on the train by yourself Em."

Emily seems to soften at the use of her nickname. She nods, "Okay." She turns around and continues packing.

"You know you can't just run away from our problems."

"Why not? You do."

"That's not fair Emily, and you know it. I don't want to flight okay? I want to talk to you. Everything is all wrong."

"Naomi we had one fight. Couples fight. It doesn't mean anything."

"Then why do I feel like I'm losing you? Why did we not have sex for almost five months? Why do I spend more time with Lana than my girlfriend? Why do I feel like you don't love me anymore?"

They start second year. Naomi and Emily resolve to spend more time together. Wednesday night is date night. They take turns planning dates. Naomi introduces Emily to her uni friends, and vice versa. And for a time they are happy.

In second semester Emily reverts back to her old ways. She postpones, moves, rain checks, and eventually cancels date night. She's working more, studying more and spending less time at home. Naomi at first chalks it up to coursework. She herself is struggling to keep up with the demands of second year. One Thursday evening, Naomi realises she hasn't seen Emily since Monday. Marc certainly is telling her anything, the fucking tosser. She gets an uneasy feeling.

The next morning she wakes up for work, and finds Emily sitting on the edge of their bed.

She smiles, "Morning," before leaning up to kiss Emily who shies away.

"I kissed someone else."

"Oh."

"I was out with friends and there was this girl. Marc had given me a pill. We were dancing together, this girl and I. Then she just kissed me. And I kissed her back."

Naomi doesn't know what to say. To say she is shocked is an understatement. "When did it happen?"

"Monday night. I've been staying at Laura's since…" and Emily has the decency to look down, embarrassed.

"Okay."

"Okay? Is that all you're going to say?"

"What do you want me to say Emily?"

"Anything. Something true."

"You really want to know what I think?"

"Yes!"

Naomi takes a minute to prepare herself. "I think we should take a break."

"No. We can work this out."

"I'm don't know if we can. I still love you Emily. Really, I do. But I'm not sure if it's enough. Nothing has changed. We're at exactly the same place we were last year. I know I want to be with you-"

Emily interrupts, "Then why would you want to break up?"

"Because you have no idea what you want. I think you need some time to figure that out."

"You really want to do this?"

"If we don't then we'll only keep drifting apart. I've been thinking about it for a little while."

"Okay."

"Em, about the flat?"

"You stay. I can stay at Laura's."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, one of her flatmates just left for exchange. She's got a spare room. And it's closer to uni."

"Okay. Call me when you're ready to talk."

Naomi is a mess. She can't sleep or eat. She cries, a lot. Ingrid Michaelson's 'Keep Breathing' becomes her soundtrack, her mantra. The only bright spot is Marc moving out and Lana organising their friend Nik to move in. Katie and Effy come to visit. It's the first they've heard of the break up. They end up calling Gina, because they're so worried about her. Gina stays with Naomi for two weeks. Forces her to eat. And slowly Naomi starts to heal.

And then suddenly, the exam period comes. Naomi throws herself into study. She practically lives in the library, only going home to shower and sleep. By the time exams finish, Naomi has never been more ready for summer.

It's been almost three months, and Naomi still hasn't heard from Emily. She's upset, but not entirely surprised. So when her politics professor asks if she'd like to take the last place on study tour to Scandinavia over summer, something Naomi had previously declined, she says yes.

The tour is exactly what she needs. It refocuses Naomi. She needs to get serious this year because this year will define her. Either she would excel, be asked to take honours, be offered the best internships and maybe even be offered a scholarship for her Masters. Or she would fail, and that was not an option she was prepared to consider.

She gets back just before classes resume, and decides to spend her last week of holidays in Bristol with Gina, Katie and Effy. On her last night she stops by Katie and Effy's. She sits in the kitchen with Katie, mulling over a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.

"You just missed Emily you know?"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, she left the day before you got back."

"Well I might bump into her in London. Small world and all that."

"No, she's on study exchange."

Naomi is silent.

"You didn't know. Shit, I'm sorry. I really thought she would of told you."

"Two years ago, she would of. I probably would have been the first person to know. But things change. And I would have found out sooner or later. Better you than finding out from Emily's stuck up UCL friends."

Katie laughs, "They are a right pack of bastards." She pauses, "I really thought Em would tell you."

"Apparently not. When I suggested a break, I told her to call me when she was ready to talk. But I meant you know in a month or something. Not in five years. This is not going to be a someone like you situation you know?"

"It's really over between you two, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

In third year Naomi pushes herself harder than ever before. She gets a new job at a local newspaper. It's just answering phone calls, and photocopying but it's better than any of the café and bar jobs she had the past two years. Lana convinces her to join a yoga class, and she is surprised to find she enjoys it. She is elected head of the social justice group at uni. Plus there is her large coursework load. But somehow Naomi rises about it all, feeling invigorated. She is going to achieve it all this year even if it kills her.

Naomi gets on very well with Professor Stone, the one who sent her on the Scandinavian trip. He is head professor for a first year politics course and asks if Naomi would be interested in running a discussion group for the freshers. He thinks they would benefit from a few debates headed by her. Naomi knows this is an intellectual come on. She gently rebuffs him. He is a wonderful teacher, but that's all he is to her. However she does accept the offer to head up the discussion group, thinking it will be interesting and be a great addition to her CV and scholarship applications.

Naomi holds the first meeting of the discussion group and truly enjoys herself. Packing up at the end she is approached by a odd looking, but very beautiful girl.

"Um excuse me? Naomi is it?"

"That's my name. Can I help you?"

"I just wanted to say thank you. That was really interesting. You did a really great job of keeping everything on track and shutting up wankers and yeah."

"Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Not sure everyone else did, especially the wankers," Naomi replied laughing, know who the girls was referring to.

" They're hardly any loss. Well I'll definitely be back next week."

"Great. See you then…? Naomi paused, realising she didn't know the girls name.

"Franky."

"See you then Franky."

On Christmas Eve, Naomi catches the train back to Bristol. She's not sure how long she'll stay, but she has to be back in London on New Year's. She heads straight to Gina and Keiran's place, managing to enjoy Christmas despite her mother's crazy ways. She suspects the morning spliff her and Keiran smoked made everything seem bearable, fun even.

She goes to see Katie and Effy on her last day in Bristol. They welcome her with open arms. Effy is doing really well, taking her meds, going to therapy. She is taking a photography course and it's no surprise to Naomi that Effy takes haunting, soul-baring, beautiful photographs. The three girls laze around in the small courtyard, reminiscing and smoking.

Naomi takes a deep breath, "So how's Emily? You can talk about her you know? I'm not going to fall apart into a million pieces if you say her name."

Katie replies softy, "She's doing well I think. I don't hear form her a lot. But when I do, she sounds happy, looks good. Canada suits her."

Naomi smiles a genuine smile, "I'm glad. I want her to be happy."

The initial interest in the discussion group dies down until there is a group of about twenty freshers who come to the Wednesday eveving meetings, or debates being a more accurate word. Franky always stays to help clean up after and slowly Naomi finds herself becoming…something with this girl. It turns out not only is Franky from Bristol, but she is also an alumnus of the ever wonderful Roundview College. Naomi immensely enjoys talking with Franky. They end up meeting for coffee twice a week and see each other at the discussion group. Naomi finds herself looking forward to their meetings. She makes an effort to look presentable, pretty even.

During semester break Naomi takes her political freshers out for a night on the town. They drink, dance and have a jolly good time. Everyone slowly leaves until Naomi and Franky are left alone. The sexual tension is paramount, until Naomi can't stand it and finally addresses the issue.

She laughs, "You know that I really like you yeah?"

"I like you too Naomi."

"No Franky. I like you," she says, placing emphasis on the word like.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"I wasn't expecting that. Wow."

Naomi has a feeling that Franky is floored, and that this isn't going to go in her favour.

"I'm sorry Naomi. I hope I haven't lead you on."

Naomi shakes her head, "No, you haven't. It's all me."

"Oh well, okay then. I don't…."

"It's okay. I kind of guessed by your reaction."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We're still mates yeah?"

"Of course."

Naomi grins, "Excellent."

"I'm in a relationship you know?"

"Well you kept that under your hat Franky. Would have made everything easier, knowing that. Wouldn't have just made a total tit out of myself."

"I know. It's just never come up. I really talk about that sort of stuff a lot. But we're mates and mates tell mates stuff."

"Indeed they do. So what's his…her…their name then?"

Franky laughs, "Her name. Mini. She's from Roundview too."

"College sweetheart?" Naomi asks, thinking of her and Emily.

Franky shakes her head, "No. She was into me for ages, but we were just mates. And then over summer, everything just kind of fell into place for us. She's lovely."

"So I'm curious, are you're a lesbian then?"

"No. I'm into people. You?"

"Certified lesbian here."

Naomi buckles down in second semester, and works harder than she has ever worked before. Balancing everything is struggle but somehow her comes through it all victorious. As hoped Naomi is offered a place in a prestigious summer study program and two wonderful internships. But for some reason, none of these options seem right. So Naomi packs up her essential belongs into one small backpack and hops on a plane to Asia with Nik and Lana.

They start in India. They eat curry like it's going out of fashion and then experience 'Delhi belly', it's not pretty. Her heart pangs in Goa, remembering her last trip there and the person she was with, the memories created there. On to Nepal and they complete a Himalayan trek with all toes and fingers in tact at the end. Naomi has never felt quite so unfit and realises what all those cigarettes having been doing to her lungs. She quits smoking right away. China is a cultural kaleidoscope and Naomi finds it fascinating to finally be somewhere she has studied so much. Then it's on to Laos, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam. They go to Phi Phi, spend the night and wake up on Maya Bay. Naomi has never felt so happy, so free, so at peace. They boat down the Meekong River. They take an elephant trek. And then three months have passed and it's time to go back to reality.

Honours year passes in a blur. There's much time spent in the many libraries around campus. Naomi writes more than she did over her previous three years at university combined. It pays off through. Gina is weeping at her graduation ceremony and Naomi isn't embarrassed. She feels proud of what she has achieved these past four years. She's graduation with first class honours, an impressive scholarship offer for a masters degree and three job offers. The world is her oyster.

Naomi goes back to Bristol to mull over her options. She's doesn't know what to do and has little time to make up her mind. Usually she is pragmatic, and able to make an informed decision quickly. But something unnamed is holding her back.

She's been back for two days and has spent all of this time in her room at Gina's place making pro and con lists, thinking things over until she felt like her brain would explore. She decides to take a walk and clear her head. She wanders off aimlessly and half an hour finds herself on College Green. Memories flood her senses and she smiles, feeling a nostalgia for a time when she biggest problems were scoring spliff, Katie making her life hell and Emily following her around like a puppy.

"Hi," a very familiar, raspy voice stuns Naomi out of her nostalgia.

She turns around and there Emily is in all of her glory. Naomi's eyes drink her in. The past two years have been generous to Emily, and she looks more beautiful than ever. Naomi then realises she hasn't said a word, and utters a small, shy, "Hi to you too."

"So how are you?"

"I'm...lost."

Emily smiles, "I know the feeling." She pauses, "How long are you in Bristol?"

"I'm not sure actually. It depends."

"On what?"

"What I decide. And you?"

"It sounds like we're in exactly the same position. I don't know what to do."

"Me neither. I mean up until now all the decisions have been easy. Picking subjects, what to do over summer break, to do honours or not, where to travel. But none of it was real. What job do I accept? Do I go back to uni and do my masters? Those are real decisions and I am totally fucking clueless."

"You picked the thoughts right out of my head Naoms."

Naomi shivers at the sound of her pet name.

"So fill me in. What have you been doing these past two years Naomi Campbell?"

They moved their discussion to a café and then to a pub. Hours pass like minutes and Naomi feels something indescribable. Emily had spent a semester studying in Montreal, graduated with honours like herself. Ironically she has been offered and accepted a job teaching English at Roundview, to be closer to Katie. At about 9pm the conversation turns serious.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Everything. For being selfish. For being indifferent. For kissing someone else. For giving up on us. For letting you walk away."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I was such an idiot."

"Seriosuly Ems, it's okay. I moved on from all of that a long time ago. You can't beat yourself up about it forever. We all do stupid shit. It's call growing up apparently."

Emily laughs, "Well I did need to grow up. I was so immature then. Not like you."

"What do you mean?"

"We decided to live together in London and that was it for you. You were totally committed to me, totally sure about our relationship. Not in the teenaged way I was during our first year of college, but in an adult way. I was just never on the same page as you. And I know you wanted to talk about it, but I wouldn't let you. You tried so hard and I gave you nothing. I honestly can't believe you stayed. I think I kissed that girl to give you a way out."

Tears start to roll down Naomi's cheeks. After the break up she scrutinized every part of their time in London trying to work out where they went wrong and she was never able to figure it out. And here Emily was telling her everything she had wondered and needed to hear.

"And it took you breaking up with me to realise what a good thing I had lost. I was a wreck afterwards. I barely functioned. If Katie hadn't come to see me, totally mad that I hadn't told you about the break up, I probably would have continued my downward spiral. But angry Katie was exactly what I needed to wake me up."

"Why didn't you call me, or come and see me if you felt that way?"

"I realised that yes, I had lost something great but that I wasn't ready for it. I didn't want to hurt you anymore than I already had. So I stayed away. It nearly killed me. The amount of times I picked up the phone to call you, begging you for another chance. But in the end I knew it was better this way."

Naomi sleeps soundly that night and when she wakes up the next morning everything is clear to her. She turns down the scholarship and offer to do her masters. She's studied enough for now and uni will always be there if she wants. She calls both Amnesty International and Oxfam to turn down their wonderful job offers. She walks to the Bristol Women's Centre to meet Anna and accept a job. Then she goes to see Emily.

Emily opens the door to Katie and Effy's place. They're both at work, so they have the place to themselves, able to talk freely.

"I'm staying in Bristol. I just accepted the job at the Women's Centre."

"But what about everything else?"

"I've been in London for four years. I've been there, done that. I seriously can't hack anymore study right now," Naomi pauses, realising she is babbling and avoiding the true answer. She takes a deep breath and asks, "Honest answer?"

"Always."

"You're here."

"Oh," Emily is surprised.

"Look I don't expect anything, but-" Naomi is cut off by Emily lunging across the table, pulling at her shirt and fusing their lips together. After a minute or two they both pull back. "Oh," it's Naomi's turn to be surprised. "What does this mean?"

"I want to be with you Naoms."

"I want to be with you too Ems. But this is it, you know? It's all or nothing for me. I want a mortgage, marriage, 2.4 kids and all of that fairytale stuff. I'm all in. Are you?"

"It's always been you Naomi. I'd die for you too. I love you so much and it's been killing me, not being with you."

Naomi leans in and kisses Emily.


End file.
